A Letter to Myself

Dear Zak,

You’re receiving this letter because I want to send you a warning. A warning that your life is about to change. But, you can live a different life, with a different set of rules, and still have an impact on those around you.

Right now, you’re in school, revising for your GCSE’s, but they’re not that important. You’ll get to college, go to uni and get a law degree; however, none of that matters.

I’m sending you this letter because you need to know the future. The next two years will shape you as a person for the rest of your life; it will give you an inner confidence and a belief that some will mistake as an ego.

Along the journey of the next two years, you’ll make some friends. I need to tell you that these friends are not friends for life. Your friends for life will be made in uni and after uni. Some of your friends won’t even be from the UK. I’ll talk to you about your life after uni in another letter, but for now just remember that the friends from school and college, they won’t stay with you.

This is partly your fault. You will lose all your friends because of your actions and you’ll be left by yourself. I don’t want you to change this. Having no friends will make you rely on yourself. You will develop a mentality of you against the world and this will help you become the best version of you.

It will also help you make sure no one has to go what you will go through. You’ll be described as a big friendly giant that doesn’t like humans. A perfect description of you as a person.

Today, this date means nothing to you, but in a few years, it’ll be one of the most important dates in your calendar. Possibly, more important than your birthday and we both know how important that is for you.

You’ll hide away from the subject, but I’m writing you this letter because I don’t want you to hide away from the subject. I want you to tell people. When you do, also tell them everything you’ve accomplished; every job you’ve had, every country you’ve visited, every skill you’ve learnt, and they will see how powerful of a person you are.

This will be the toughest two years of your life, but you’ll come out of them mentally stronger than you would’ve been if these two years never happened. What you’re going to experience would break a normal person.

What you’ll experience, nobody will be able to understand. They wouldn’t have done what you did; they wouldn’t won’t have seen, heard, or administered the things you’ve done. Some people will say they understand; they don’t, but that’s not their fault. Humans are fickle and don’t know what to say when someone lays it on them. They’ve never seen a person go through this experience and still be “normal”.

In two years, on 18th May 2011, you’re going to feel the last heartbeat. There will be no tears, no sadness, no guilt, because in that last heartbeat, you knew the time was right. You accepted fate; you opened the door and you let them walk through.

I want you to change your life earlier than that date. I want you to change it the moment you hear the first cough because you can live a different life, with a different set of rules, and still have an impact on those around you.

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